Content/trigger warning: A brief mention of suicide within a fictional TV program is mentioned at the very start of this blog.
Being diagnosed with a chronic illness brings a whole flurry of different emotions. When I first heard the words “multiple sclerosis”, I didn’t know what to think. I had only heard of MS from an episode of the school drama Waterloo Road, where one of the teachers was having balance and cognitive issues and was, as a result, diagnosed with MS. Eventually, a mixture of struggling with her diagnosis and her personal life, led to suicide.*My mind was racing, and I quickly ignored all the people who told me that Google would not be my friend. I brought up a list of common symptoms and then in the following days, weeks, months, I began to convince myself I was feeling all of those things, even if they weren’t things I had ever felt before. I was also reading about how common it is for partners to leave when their partner is diagnosed with a chronic illness. I was giving my anxiety-riddled head every single negative possibility to mull over, leading to many a sleepless night and feeling disconnected from friends and family as I was convinced that I would be a burden to them.
During one of my doom-scrolling sessions on social media, I found MS Together, and saw that they were advertising group counselling sessions for young people with MS. I thought that with my mental health struggling, and my diagnosis still very fresh, I probably needed to connect with people like me who were going through similar things. The first session was a little awkward at first, me and the two girls on the video call were connected to a counsellor who spent some time getting to know more about each of us and where we were at in our journey with MS. We were all at slightly different stages of our diagnoses, with different symptoms, but were still all fairly new to our diagnosis, and all had similar emotions, being anxious about what the future held for us going forward. We all felt a certain inevitability that our conditions would worsen and that our lives would very dramatically change. Over the course of 8 sessions, our counsellor helped us dive into why we felt like this, and why our anxieties were justified, but unnecessary. There is no way to know that you will end up with certain symptoms, or when that might happen, and if you live your life in fear of those things happening, how will you ever enjoy life? The counselling left me with a new outlook – that I should live my life to the fullest, because even without MS, things could change for anyone, at any time!
With this new perspective, I signed up for something I had wanted to for a very long time – a half marathon! I decided to recruit my partner and some of my close friends to join me, and we ran the Plymouth Half Marathon in May!
We managed to raise over £1600 for MS Together, to give back to the charity that helped me when I needed it most. Not only did they set up the group counselling that helped me so much, but they also have community groups to keep you in touch with other young people with MS, including groups like Film Club, where we talk about different films and TV shows we’re watching, and even hold a monthly call to discuss our opinions and laugh together! The groups are full of people from all walks of life, and different stages of diagnosis. Some are messaging for the first time, having just left the hospital being told they have MS, and some are those who have been diagnosed for 15+ years, with a wealth of knowledge and experience to pass onto those who need it, as well as everyone in-between.
I can honestly say MS Together have fostered a fantastic community of people who will always offer advice, support and recommendations to anyone who needs help, whenever possible. I still have the occasional wobble – worrying about what the future holds for me, but when you’re diagnosed with a condition like MS, I believe nothing is more valuable than shared experiences to share the mental load. I’m so lucky to have this wonderful community to reach out to, and am even lucky enough to call some of them my friends!
*Lack of representation of conditions like MS in media means that sometimes these very negative stories are all we have to relate to!
